My name is Rachel Louise. Most friends call me Rachel, but the reason I used two names is because I couldn’t just leave Rachel as it is, and I thought Louise had a nice sound to it too. I was aware how popular Rachel was as a name too, so that was another reason for having a 'double name.'
I'm 36. I've dressed in girl's clothing practically all my life. It never occurred to me as a young boy that it was odd. I like pretty things, and thought skirts and tops and dresses were so cool, not like the awful clothes I felt I had to wear. My mom would often say, when I would say I wanted something that 'you can't have that, it's for girls !' and this has been a running comment throughout my life.
I didn’t ever start dressing up thinking it was wrong and the family made it clear they opposed it. So, I opposed them, I refused to have my hair cut, and when it was long enough, would style it like a girl would.
I went into therapy to get the help I wasn’t getting at home. They thought I was a TS, and recommended I go on hormones. I was never happier, although I felt they were pushing me to transition fully, which I wasn’t sure about doing. I had several bad episodes, and 4 years after I started, at age 19, I just came off the hormones in a bid to live life as a male. It was a disaster of course, but by 24 I had accepted this part of myself, finally, and over the years grown in confidence, have wonderful friends, and even support from real girls and a measured level of acceptance from my mom.
I think crossdressing is a wonderful, positive thing. I would tell any woman straight away about this, and if she didn’t want to know, well at least I had been honest about it. I have been out in public many times, I'm still not as confident as maybe I should be, but I think I have much to do to be totally convincing. It's something I continue to work on.
I love shopping but the temptation to buy remains very high and so i don't do this as often as I would like. I get a lot of fun of gong out in public, doing videos, photos and sometimes, just relaxing for a day, dressed as a girl. Life is too short to let this subject get in the way of your life, or someone else's, and while I've had my challenges, I wouldn’t change any part of it because it's who I am.
Click on Rachel’s portrait below to go to her Flickr page. Rachel also has a You Tube page which you can see by clicking here .