I have been dressing as a girl for my whole life. My mother and sister expected another girl in the family, and prepared accordingly - so I spent my first two years or so wearing dresses. After that, my sister would sometimes suggest dressing me up as a little girl (I always answered yes, because I liked it so much!). But suddenly all this innocent joy came to an end when I was about five years old. I assume that my father had found out what was going on, and swiftly put a stop to it - but this was never actually discussed. My feelings lay dormant for a few years after this, until aged around ten I started to ‘borrow’ items of lingerie in secret from my mother’s and sister’s wardrobes....
I can still recall being suddenly impelled to sneak into my mother’s bedroom to try on a pair of her thick woolly winter tights, when I was all alone in the house. I think I was ten years old. I found this to be an extremely thrilling and arousing thing to do, although I somehow also knew that I would get into trouble if I was caught. But it felt so wonderful, and after that I just couldn’t stop! I would dress up every chance I had! My mother owned a couple of wigs, which I loved trying on, and both she and my sister had a lot of gorgeous old-fashioned lingerie. I was in T-Girl heaven! However, I was not a very cunning or careful child, and so I would get caught quite regularly - usually because my mother would discover lingerie and other items of clothing, belonging to either her or my sister, which I had “borrowed” and forgotten to return, leaving them in the drawers of my own wardrobe. It was very embarrassing to be caught, but slowly I became more cunning and secretive, in order to avoid these humiliating discoveries! My crossdressing continued right through my teenage years
At university I discovered that there were some girls who enjoyed and would help to facilitate my crossdressing activities. I first started using make-up when I was in my early twenties. This was during gender-bending early eighties, and there were lots of girls in my rather crazy circle of friends who would help me dress and make-up before parties. They would even lend me their dresses! It was during this period that I was awarded second-prize in a regional round of the Miss Alternate UK Competition.
I am still learning how to apply make-up for the best results! I think we T-Girls need to be as expert as we possibly can about beauty products, because they can do so much for us! I first learned to apply make-up from my supportive girlfriends, by reading fashion magazines, and in more recent years from the vast amount of information available on the internet. The most important tips I ever picked up were as follows: (1) learn to shave properly, (2) get your mascara looking right before you do anything else, (3) find a shade for your foundation that works effectively with your hair colour and (4) learn to blend everything together. Being a redhead, I use the Max Factor ‘Golden’ range - although I also experiment sometimes with whiter tones to achieve a more dramatic contrast between face and hair. I have also recently started trying the new Max Factor ‘Second Skin’ range, which is intended to give a very natural look – make-up that looks as if you are not wearing make-up! I have grey-green or hazel eyes, so these can be either contrasted with a blue, silver or bronze eye-shadow, or else blended-in by using a complementary shade of grey-green in the arch of the eyelid. I have rather full lips, and I like to emphasize these by using a very dark red or bright shocking pink lipstick, with lots of additional lip-gloss.
As for my fashion or style preferences, I like to experiment with different looks, rather than fall into one style of dressing. I am currently concentrating on trying to project a very ladylike appearance, with prom dresses and chiffon cocktail outfits. But I also like to show off my curvy figure and legs with skintight or bodycon mini-dresses, and I also enjoy wearing anything that is outrageously and over-the-top femme, such as fluffy chiffon petticoats or classic girdles and shapewear from leading manufacturers such as Grenier, Playtex and Rago.
My first time out as a girl was when I was about 22 years of age. It felt very natural to be walking the streets in a dress and heels, but this was in a University town, and everyone was used to seeing alternative forms of dress. I have never run into any problems, but then again I go out dressed very seldom compared with many of my T-Girl friends.
Have I ever had a purge? Yes, more than once. At the time, I was involved in a very non-supportive relationship. I felt unhappy and guilty about my dressing, and I also very isolated - with no-one around who understood and in whom I could confide. I think the purges were followed by about six months or so of abstinence. Twenty five years ago I owned the most gorgeous orange satin slip with coffee-coloured lace trim – I wish I hadn’t got rid of that!
I like to do a dress-up with full make-up at least once a week, but I can’t always manage this. When I was young, I would dream of becoming more of a girl physically, and even dreamed about having SRS when I first learned (aged about ten) that such a thing existed . But over the years I have come to accept that I am a T-Girl in the sense that I am a transsexual rather than a Transgendered person. I feel like a girl when I dress as a girl... and vice versa. This is not a superficial thing. When I am dressed as a girl, my personality, body language and tactile senses all undergo a radical change. I become a different person – I become Rebecca George. When I am Rebecca, my sexual orientation completely changes, and I become extremely attracted both to men and to other t-girls.
A select group of people know about my T-Girl persona, but it is not something I share with everyone. I have lived in a number of different countries, but I was born in the UK and that is where I now reside. You can find more of my pictures at:
And I can be e-mailed at:
I am thrilled by the friends that I have made through this website and others like it. I would not have struggled in the past with my self-esteem and would not have made those purges which I mentioned if the internet had been around 25 years ago. I feel part of a worldwide movement that embraces all my T-Girl sisters. We have become a much more organised and supportive community, but we still face prejudice and even hostility from society at large. So go at your own pace. Take control. The world is full of people who want you to conform to their agenda. Enjoy being a girl and don’t shrink from your impulses, but do also follow your instincts and don’t rush into anything before you feel truly ready for it. It’s your life, and you can make the T-Girl part of it as big or as small a feature of it as you wish to....
I firmly believe that once you understand and accept yourself, external problems can all be dealt with one at a time. Good experiences will come to you. Bad experiences, unfortunately, will also happen from time to time, but if you have an inner belief in who you are and your right to choose your own identity, then these experiences will pass and you will be undeterred by them. Be kind to yourself! Treasure the good experiences, try to forget the bad. I also believe that everyone needs to practice some form of mental relaxation or discipline in this crazy and chaotic world. I have personally followed the path of meditation for many years. Transcendental Mediation teaches you to separate yourself from the disordered or destructive impulses that derive from the hidden parts of your mind or personality. Meditation allows you to stand outside the flurry of impulses which we mistakenly believe to be out true selves. I believe that many transgendered people would benefit from embracing this form of meditation
I recently wrote a poem called ‘Autumn in Calabria’, which is an attempt to explore the mind and feelings of far more advanced T-Girl than myself. I would like to conclude by quoting this poem, because I feel that the power and emotion of Transgendered and Transsexual experiences can perhaps be better expressed in poetry than in prose. Although as far as I know the world is still awaiting the emergence and recognition of its first great Transgendered poet - or great Transgendered artist of any kind.
AUTUMN IN CALABRIA
This white Slix swimsuit, one piece, halter necked
might look a little last-season, almost out of date,
but my signet ankle chain and Raybans
define me as a classy piece of jailbait
a delicious trophy t-girl, topping up her tan
lounging on my lover's white immaculate beach
where the slender dangling toe of Italy's boot
permanently extends, but can never reach
to score with the battered Sicilian football -
deep down here in the mezzogiorno sun
where summer lingers longer, evening is draped
a tangerine sheer blouse, seductively undone
and stretched across the shadowy acacia branches
with dangling amber and topaz beads, bright Catherine wheels,
that collect and reflect in my lenses, while my slender feet
slide in and slide out of my four-inch, peeptoe, white slingback heels.
A year from now, what perfect form
will surgery, and my lover's money, make
inside this white Slix swimsuit, and what ideal shape
will transformation of desire desire to take?
My warmest thanks to Rachel Williston for honouring me in this wonderful way! Rachel, I love you!
Hugs and Kisses!
Click on Rebecca’s portrait below to go to her Flickr page.
Rebecca is a very special friend of mine. In fact, we are girlfriends and have even called each other fiancees. Click on the bridal photo below to see us together as brides ... A fantasy we both have that, who knows, may become reality ! So, this page is dedicated to my lovely girlfriend and fiancee, Rebecca